Still Cleaning Up

Greatly to the indignation of a committee from the House of Expenses Claimants, some private companies have been serving their primary purpose, namely to make money for their shareholders. Moisture provision profiteers in England spent sixteen and a half million over the last five years paying lawyers to reduce their liability for illegal sewage dumping and other little hobbies, even though the money was thrown at them by the Government and nobody forced them to spend it on infrastructure instead. One Labour MP warned that her constituents would be outraged, which will almost certainly have nearly as salutary an effect upon the future corporate consultants of Team Starmer as upon the moisture provision executives themselves.

Right Wheels

Although the austere luxuries of the Ajax may still be reserved for the nation's plucky little servicepersons, armoured-vehicle Britishness is by no means off limits to the more deserving civilian. Having allowed car manufacturers to dodge targets for replacing petroleum vehicles with more environmentally responsible ones, the CEO of Team Starmer has been informed that the entrepreneurial gumption of Jaguar Land Rover Automotive PLC does not extend to designing bomb-proof electric cars. The beastly Euro-wogs seem to have managed it by some nefarious foreign means; but the vocally vexillophiliac CEO of Team Starmer is unlikely to forsake Jaguar Land Rover for BMW as long as his most favoured demographic includes so many patriots who personally won the Second World War on behalf of Britain's white working class.