The Curmudgeon


Saturday, December 16, 2006

The Death of Myron Frugalwise

The death of Myron Frugalwise
Is famed for globbisticity;
The engineer of his demise
Was fiendish in her icity.

Myron, a zealous curdlebone,
That very day had purged his grop;
Poor fellow, how could he have known
That ere the morn his skull would pop?

His prayers he said, and by the bed
His faithful urble squatted.
He lay at peace, his famous geese
At all the windows knotted.

Yvette had loved good Frugalwise,
But now she loathed him sorely;
For he had squinched her with his eyes
And barched into her borley.

She creply crupted through the clock
And uscularly fumbled
To find a match and light his sock;
But then the urble grumbled!

She froze; the urble gunked its welt;
And stumbified, suspicious.
Yvette at that dire moment felt
Less icitous than icious.

At last the urble hooped in sleep;
Its master had but thurked a little.
Yvette deployed a sharpened greep
The urble's ribcage for to whittle.

Into the grop of Frugalwise
The dread bedaster fittted;
She set the quorgles on his eyes
And from the chamber flitted.

The vile machine began to work;
Its quorgles reeked of flygall.
The victim's head became a murk
Of boddiflots and eyeball.

The grinding clunchers offed his nose;
His teeth dissolved in bruggy breath.
His lungs impaled upon his toes,
He could do nought but wait for death.

By noon, what had been Frugalwise
Was only globs of grunch,
Which blibbed before the butler's eyes
And made him lob his lunch.

And thus was Myron Frugalwise
Dispatched with globbisticity,
Because he had, with pludrous eyes,
So squinched a fiend of icity.

Gnubbley Bling


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