tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65967902024-03-18T16:14:07.859+00:00The CurmudgeonYOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.comBlogger7041125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-49622573969812842882024-03-18T16:13:00.003+00:002024-03-18T16:13:32.118+00:00Plucky Little NativesNon-governmental and hence necessarily unelected organisations have criticised the Libyan coastguard over its efforts to save British jobs for British workers. Médecins Sans Frontières, whose name incriminatingly combines doctors and lack of border control, was apparently interrupted in its migrant-condoning activities by a coastguard patrol, which despite having a much smaller boat stepped up toPhiliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-90174366786989591372024-03-17T14:37:00.000+00:002024-03-17T14:37:11.132+00:00Built on SandBeachfront property owners in Massachusetts are united in victorious grief after a sacrificial sand dune gave its existence to protect their real estate. Since more solid protections are not allowed, the group paid half a million dollars to pile up fifteen thousand tons of sand, which was washed away within three days. The sponsors of the martyred dune are congratulating themselves on a job well Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-89680449272058622612024-03-16T16:32:00.001+00:002024-03-16T16:32:06.832+00:00Absolutely AstonishingGreatly to the astonishment of almost nobody at all, an empty slogan has proven to be little more than an empty slogan. "Levelling up" was a guiding principle of the National Johnson régime for at least as long as it took to fool enough of the people enough of the time, and the concept was subsequently delivered unto the proudly inexpert administration of the jabbering homunculus Michael Gove; Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-41978053802104831422024-03-15T17:54:00.004+00:002024-03-15T17:55:51.417+00:00Please Keep Off the NationLast year, in one of its more understated cultural assaults, His Majesty's Government renamed England's areas of outstanding natural beauty as "national landscapes," in recognition that they are not merely beautiful but an asset of the master race. There are thirty-four such areas in England, of which the majority are more than ninety per cent out of bounds to the public, who must rest content Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-41013952393714070602024-03-14T19:40:00.001+00:002024-03-14T19:40:38.356+00:00Putin Fails AgainAnonymous sources within His Majesty's Government, which are doubtless as reliable as anyone concerning their well-informed and genuine beliefs, are squealing about the GPS signal on board an RAF aircraft being jammed when it buzzed Russian territory. Unlike aggressor nations with legitimate security concerns, Russia does not have the right to react when closely approached by military aircraft Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-13982717573451532902024-03-13T20:38:00.001+00:002024-03-13T20:38:07.544+00:00British News for British ReadersFaced with the possibility that certain dusky foreigns are prepared to pay good money for the Maily Toryguff, His Majesty's Government has had a sudden attack of market interventionism. It's one thing to flog off public assets to private companies based outside the UK; it is quite another to allow a traditionally Conservative and now dementedly far-right rag to fall into the hands of a bunch of Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-38387599234171624122024-03-12T20:07:00.003+00:002024-03-12T20:07:47.154+00:00It Was Good Enough For EichmannIn yet another paroxysm of toxic un-Britishness, the union for senior civil servants has threatened to use, of all things, the law to determine whether the will of the people and the whims of ministers can be trumped by vexatious legalisms. Britain's sovereign parliament is expected soon to rubber-stamp the Government's wog transportation bill, which incidentally states that ministers have the Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-3404031779638167882024-03-11T20:50:00.003+00:002024-03-11T20:50:33.406+00:00Cash FlowOne of Britain's biggest, dirtiest and most profligate moisture provision profiteers has refused to commit any funds to an industry drive towards reducing sewage dumping. Somebody hinted that officials were disappointed, and something called Steve was so disappointed that it had a bit of a burble about the state of the nation's rivers somehow being completely unacceptable, despite fourteen years Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-61864533617143878672024-03-10T15:00:00.003+00:002024-03-10T15:00:33.292+00:00Psychological WelfareAlthough His Majesty's Government treats the mental health of native shirkers and scroungers with characteristic contempt, it has apparently developed a touching concern for the emotional well-being of the swarming hordes. An enemy of the people has criticised the Idleness Police for their efficient and ultimately fatal exacerbation of a benefits claimant's anxiety issues; by contrast, the Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-6057938572231397312024-03-09T17:13:00.002+00:002024-03-09T17:16:39.050+00:00Indirect SaleDescendants of the man who allegedly killed England's second Norman king are offering a triptych depicting the Conquest, the king's death and the supposed perpetrator's escape. William II, called Rufus, had little respect for conventional pieties and did not marry or breed, thus making himself odious to the Church and abhorrent to God and provoking rumours of sodomy. Having received brief mentionPhiliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-2344800852912320972024-03-08T17:05:00.003+00:002024-03-08T17:05:52.844+00:00Where Charity BeginsIn a touching gesture of faith, the Archbishop of Canterbury has taken to carrying a personal alarm to protect him from his brothers in Christ. As the head of an organisation which began with a rabid fundamentalist's urge to destroy the world and which famously loved its enemies to death, the Archbishop took to the pages of a hard-right rag to convey how shocked, shocked, shocked he is that Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-26611935802923591732024-03-07T21:59:00.003+00:002024-03-07T21:59:44.079+00:00Anyone Worth Denouncing is Worth Denouncing ProperlyHistory, even British political history, is full of fine ideas that didn't quite work out in practice. The party of Peel and Disraeli became that of Johnson and Truss; the party of Gladstone and Lloyd George became that of Clegg and Davey; the party of Keir Hardie became that of Keir Starmer. By a miraculous reversion of this process of moral entropy, the Prevent programme has been exalted from Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-2468257005848829842024-03-06T20:15:00.002+00:002024-03-06T20:16:18.423+00:00Diplomat DaveBritain's glistening pink Minister for Wogs, Huns and Hottentots, whose statesmanship contributed so much to putting Britain and Libya where they are today, is to take on the mantle of Head Boy for the civilised world and give a minister of the Righteous State a bit of a talking-to on behalf of the World Cop. The beneficiary of this moral uplift will be a political enemy of the Netanyahoo who hasPhiliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-77867316709588524162024-03-05T20:40:00.000+00:002024-03-05T20:40:00.443+00:00Oh Goody, Another OneOf course it is always a pleasure when Team Starmer makes a new promise, especially when its source is Michael Gove. The shadow farming minister has proclaimed that a Labour government would end the use of thiomexotham, a pesticide which kills bees, thereby fulfulling a pledge made by the jabbering homunculus during the first rah-rah on the sunlit uplands and broken by the Government four years Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-50517549382939451962024-03-04T20:05:00.001+00:002024-03-04T20:05:15.238+00:00Tuned OutForty-seven young musicians, exiled from Afghanistan by the heirs of Western civilisation, have concluded a tour of Europe by being refused visas to trouble the peace of the realm with their cacophonous Asiatic dissonances; and in a rare time-saving touch the Ministry for Wog Control has simultaneously refused to consider an appeal against the refusal. The youth orchestra's members have refugee Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-82906890830882702732024-03-03T15:14:00.000+00:002024-03-03T15:14:08.338+00:00Thirty ThousandHow blest are we who starve and thirst
For righteousness, and now are filled
By bombs that profitably burst
Until the terrorists are stilled.
Though lacking appetite to stop
The butchery, our virtue flies
On wings of righteousness to drop
A snack or so for each demise.
Hap E MealePhiliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-22546120668376641732024-03-02T19:32:00.003+00:002024-03-02T19:32:48.503+00:00Treason of the GrocersDespite the benefits of the Japanese Marmite trade and the incalculable advantages of exchanging the beastly Euro-wog market for some whelk stalls in the South Pacific, certain elements of the food industry continue to align themselves with the woke metropolitan Islamist hard-left élite. The Elizabeth the Great Accords brought in to keep Northern Ireland in the civilised world provide for meat Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-80847151847595610112024-03-01T20:48:00.004+00:002024-03-01T20:48:37.001+00:00Let Sleeping Dags LieSince those with nothing to hide have nothing to fear, the United Kingdom and one of its chums are apparently withholding evidence to an inquiry into the death of Dag Hammarskjöld, the United Nations secretary general whose plane crashed during his intervention in the 1960s Congo crisis. Although the UN was not at that time entirely controlled by Hamas, the original verdict of pilot error remainsPhiliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-23295281994132478062024-02-29T22:29:00.003+00:002024-02-29T22:29:33.377+00:00Ignorance is GrowthTheoreticians and practitioners of Oligarchical Collectivism will recall that Eastasia, with which Oceania has always been at war, is protected from annihilation thanks to the fecundity and industriousness of its inhabitants. Tragically, at least one of these advantages appears to be in danger of serious decline. South Korea's right-wing government is worried about running out of South Koreans; Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-64098751981114305402024-02-28T16:35:00.002+00:002024-02-28T16:36:41.367+00:00Don't Send Them BackOnce more the ghastly forces of woke internationalism are seeking to rewrite British history and warp the sacred course of market forces. The government of Ethiopia, wilfully oblivious of the fact that were it not for Mr Churchill they would all be speaking Italian, has sought to prevent the privatisation of a shield which was incorporated into the assets of the British Empire following the Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-22340319934899135682024-02-27T23:59:00.002+00:002024-02-28T00:07:42.059+00:00New Block on the KidsA bill awarding civil rights to Florida foetuses has suffered a postponement after the supreme court in the Christian state of Alabama went and muddied the moral waters. The Alabama court ruled that embryos created via IVF are "extra-uterine children," whereupon a number of clinics promptly stopped providing services for fear of wrongful-death lawsuits in the event of divinely-ordained Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-40507011386868677712024-02-26T00:01:00.001+00:002024-02-26T08:52:02.854+00:00The Zone of InterestJonathan Glazer 2023
Like Jonathan Glazer's previous works - the mediocre Sexy Beast (2000), the intriguing Birth (2004), and the occasionally striking but largely risible Under the Skin (2013) - his latest leaves little doubt as to its sense of its own importance. If the extended black screens which follow the opening title and precede the end credits were not enough, the gravity proper to the Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-78919656848204916192024-02-25T18:01:00.003+00:002024-02-25T18:01:52.707+00:00This Is Not Who We AreProper Conservatives, in the estimation of the brilliant Robert Buckland, stand for "bringing the country together and seeking to unify, challenging criminality and hate and extremism absolutely square on, and being honest and truthful about it – but bringing the country together, not dividing it" - as can be seen by the state of the country after a decade and a half of Conservative government. Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-63179982519842141972024-02-24T17:42:00.001+00:002024-02-24T17:42:39.275+00:00Vegetable-Based SolutionsManufacturers of plant-based substitutes for dairy products may soon be ordered to remove from their brand names such consumer-harming factors as "homophones, asterisked characters or other wordplay." In a move worthy of those alleged by the National Johnson and his ilk against the bureaucrats of Strasbrussels, His Majesty's Government is considering a ban on the misleading information contained Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-18993446240283300532024-02-23T16:11:00.003+00:002024-02-23T16:11:24.778+00:00Three-Dimensional PeacekeepingTo mark the second anniversary of Russia's invasion of Ukraine, the World Cop by the grace of God will be imposing further sanctions upon the aggressor, reducing the availability of goods that Russia wants, since Russia no more has needs than it has legitimate security concerns. The World Cop and its allies are indignant that Russia's actions have killed tens of thousands and destroyed cities, Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0