The Curmudgeon


Sunday, January 30, 2011

Crispy Munchkins

(Serves 1-43)

2 litres fresh milk
1 dozen eggs
1 half-bucket finest non-stick flour
1 half-bucket sugar and/or salt
1 quarter-bucket baking powder
1 metric tonne best quality munchkins

Tie down munchkins and gag to prevent yellowbricking.

Place milk, flour and baking powder in large bucket and heat gradually but with determination, stirring vindictively. When mixture is bubbling and turning the colour of a celebrity on a desert island, add baking powder and sugar and/or salt to taste.

Carefully untie munchkins and murder according to disposition. Remove eyeballs, bones and medical appliances. For maximum safety it is recommended that this procedure be carried out on one munchkin at a time.

Remove gags last of all and hurl munchkins into bucket. Exchange stirring implement for chopping implement and dismember with sufficient vigour to ensure that all munchkins and (provided you won't be cleaning up) much of the kitchen are thickly coated in mixture. Turn heat up high and club remnants into submission.

When munchkins are thoroughly battered, empty bucket onto large plate or in family trough and serve with green salad and/or custard.

© Wicked West Inc.™ Not in Kansas any more.


  • At 7:45 pm , Blogger broken biro said...

    Well, I've done all that but how do you stop them skipping?

  • At 9:49 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    You were almost certainly using Tesco's own brand of munchkins, which are to best quality munchkins as a Sylvester Stallone remake is to a Michael Caine original. Read the label next time.

  • At 10:35 pm , Blogger broken biro said...

    They were cut price, nearly out-of-date 'best before you get out of the car park' munchkins... times are hard you know!


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