The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Singing Socks

Pull Up Your Socks and Help The Environment!

New OrnithoHose™ Singing Socks from OrnithoHose™ are the latest innovation from the company that brought you OrnithoHose™ Feathertights, the OrnithoHose™ Budgerigarter for intimate conversation and OrnithoHose™ GripShooz® for holding onto tree branches while asleep.

New OrnithoHose™ Singing Socks from OrnithoHose™ utilise the latest ornitho-innovatory technology to give you the ultimate natural experience in melodic sock accessorisation.

New OrnithoHose™ Singing Socks from OrnithoHose™ come with free radial clip-on multiple perch attachment. Simply clip on free radial clip-on multiple perch attachment below the knee and attach sock with free colour-coordinated EasiWalk™ environmentally-sound strings. Perches come in Short, Medium, Long and Economy Lengths. Prolonged use of Economy Length Perches is inadvisable except for the naturally bandy-legged or people with exceptionally wide crotches. OrnithoHose™ is not liable for condition of wearer's trouser legs.

New OrnithoHose™ Singing Socks from OrnithoHose™ includes a wide variety of singing ornithological fixtures in the combination of your choice. Nightingale, Lark, Loon, Bittern, Seasonal Robin, Genetically Modified Cormorant or Archaeopteryx with more collectable items added every month. Simply attach birds to perches with free Tootsie™ genetically modified Twist-Tie Toes. Ensure that birds of the same species are not placed near one another, otherwise mating and/or territorial behaviour may ensue causing potential ambulatory difficulties for which OrnithoHose™ is not liable.

New OrnithoHose™ Singing Socks from OrnithoHose™ are the perfect Christmas present for the loved one for whom you always buy socks!

OrnithoHose™
All for the Birds.

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