The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Crucifixion

With apologies to Andrea Mantegna and Lyndon Hood


Click picture for full-size image

Stations
1. His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, a ruler with no clothes positioned to the Saviour's right, looks away from the Saviour and invites his Adoring Public to contemplate his own heavenly perfection.

2. The Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Reverend and Right Honourable Dr Rowan Williams, a politician with no clothes positioned to the Saviour's left, looks away from the Saviour in order to contemplate something or other.

3. Saint Peter, having disowned the Saviour three times and embodied himself in an elaborate Basilica to symbolise final abandonment of His teachings on poverty and modesty, lurks in the background awaiting his chance.

4. Under the flag of Caesar, an Imperial soldier informs a straying Palestinian of the wages of disobedience.

5. Lambeth Palace, a thin and somewhat dented fa├žade, leans exhaustedly against the barren cliffs of superstition.

6. Saint Anthony, positioned to the right of Pope Benedict, gives voice to a profundity.

7. As the earth shakes and the rocks are rent, Saint Silvio comforts the female mourners because the Pope has better things to do.

8. Incentivised by a soldier of the Lord to become as little children, a pile of Heretics awaits penetration by the Holy Spirit.

2 Comments:

  • At 2:13 am , Blogger Lyndon said...

    You don't have to apologise. If we don't like it, me and that Mantegna guy can just come round and nail you to something.

     
  • At 12:03 pm , Blogger phil said...

    Who's the sponsor?

     

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