The English Progressive Tradition

We mustn't change the voting - FPTP is such fun,
And causes such hilarity concerning how we're run;
And any other system is a system we must shun:
It is not the way we do things, for it's not how things are done.

We must support our pressmen of the Mail, Express and Sun,
Who fearlessly expose the dreaded Mussulman and Hun.
We'll censure no poor hacks for putting crap out by the ton;
For it's not the way we do things as it's not how things are done.

We mustn't lose the Royals, for the Royals are such fun;
We mustn't stop the armed policeman playing with his gun;
We mustn't treat with Europe lest the wogs forget who won -
It is not the way we do things, so it's not how things are done.

Chunkie Flobber