Big Shot

Environmental Britishness seems set to continue at its accustomed glorious heights, thanks to next week's holding of an award-giving regal rah-rah at a venue owned by fossil fuel squillionaires. The Prince of Wales's Earthshot prize will be bestowed at a convention centre whose owners also run the world's biggest oil refinery. In addition the family firm has a private zoo eight times the size of Regent's Park, which was inaugurated by the Muslim-baiting nationalist Narendra Modi and which includes rare species obtained by methods so apparently dubious that even ministers in His Majesty's Government have been advised to keep their dealings as informal and deniable as they can. Fortunately, according to His Royal Highness, the aim of the prize is to "talk about urgency and optimism together," so there is little danger of the ceremony being widely misconstrued as anything to do with mere action.

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OOPS. We've done it again.

Martyrdom Diluted

Fans and and fellow freemen of the Dover and Portsmouth Blackshirts will be suffering a certain moral deflation at the tidings that a former hero of the high seas and scourge of the Royal National Lifeboat Institution has apparently decided to collaborate with the authorities. The intrepid dinghy-stabber and defender of the racial shores initially pleaded not guilty to criminal damage, but has now changed his plea to guilty despite having taken inspirational video footage of himself inflicting criminal damage. The Freedom of the Seas has come to a pretty pass when the heir apparent to the Reverend Tommyrot Yaxleyson can openly admit to a fact in the teeth of his own personal evidence supporting the factuality of that very same fact.

Just Common Sense

His Majesty's Government's favourite fundamentalist head-choppers are about to strike several dozen blows for traditional family values by flogging an unwed mother. Given the amount of squealing about sharia law that emanates from the Blackshirts, the Farage Falange and other moral reformers, the case is rather instructive. The beneficiary is a Kenyan migrant worker whose tainted viviparousness was manifested in a hospital rather than at home; so had her little indiscretion occurred in a properly-run hanging, flogging and National Service Britain, her racial profile, social status and consumption of native medical resources would presumably merit at least the hundred lashes prescribed by the Reformist House of Saud. Meanwhile the Kenyan government has done credit to its British and Christian colonial heritage by declining to impose upon its fallen women any burden of worldly support.

Reset Within Reason

While His Majesty's Government is at last showing an intermittent dim awareness that being in a club means obeying the rules and paying the fees, there are naturally one or two limits. His Majesty's Government is willing, barely, to discuss paying for access to the European electricity market, but not if the money is going to end up powering the Eastern Untermenschen. His Majesty's Government is rather more rah-rah about joining a pan-European wog-bombing enterprise, but even this is contingent upon the Strasbrussels imperium charging no more than what the mainland wishes to pay. Meanwhile the minister in charge of grown-up negotiations has been camping it up for the youth mobility scheme, proclaiming the strutting Caudillo of the Farage Falange a big old grinch because it's Christmas now and younger voters will appreciate the cultural reference.

Back to the Comfort Zone

Among the more dignified indicators of a great and serious nation is, of course, the frequency and owlishness with which it agonises about its nationality. Readers of a certain vintage may recall the writhing convolutions over "Britishness" with which the Blairites used to regale a patriotic public in the absence of anything more substantive to talk about. It now appears that "Englishness" is set for another go-around of the same treatment, as our Mother of Parliaments debates the burning question of whether it is permissible for citizens of a certain melanin content to identify themselves in the census as English rather than British. It is to be hoped that those whose values are merely British will have the good grace to differentiate themselves from the historical hard core of the master race, as there wouldn't be much point to our shared Englishness if we had to share it with just anybody.

We All Do Our Part

Come show your respect:
In poppy bedecked,
Give alms for those damaged in war;

We shall not neglect
To come and collect
Your tax, and demolish some more.

Prosper Gunsell

Perverse Incentives

An unfortunate recidivism still plagues the Ministry for Wog Control, which has suffered yet another defeat in the courts. The Ministry had decreed that kidnapping for ransom did not constitute exploitation, and therefore that His Majesty's Government was in no wise obliged to coddle the beneficiaries of such enterprising and enlightened commerce. After all, what is the moral basis for the prohibitions on home working, and arguably for the wage-slave economy itself, if not curtailing the liberty of certain individuals for the profit of certain others? Apparently the Ministry's sticking-point was that some kidnappers are so remiss as not to impose forced labour on their guests, thereby raising inevitable suspicions of a lax, indulgent and corrupting régime. This would of course entail an unacceptable risk of producing asylum seekers depraved enough to endanger virtuous British womanhood, take up luxury hotel space better occupied by hard-working British natives, and exploit British law against His Majesty's Government. Fortunately for legal and civilised values, the Ministry's defeats in the high court and the court of appeal have been at nobody's expense except the taxpayer's.

Virtuous Trinity

The Christian states of Alabama and Indiana have joined with the realm of Governor Ronald of the Saints to practise the grand old mercy on three felons in the course of a single day. Since it's comparatively rare for three states to carry out simultaneous executions, the Islamo-Communist dictator of California did his best to tarnish the righteousness of the trifecta by announcing that he will commute all of the five hundred and forty-eight outstanding death sentences in his own caliphate. It seems more than possible that the gurney of Christian justice could be yet further depharmaticised as a result of the mid-term massacre, which has martyred God's humbler servants right across the nation. On the bright side, none of yesterday's autos-da-fé was bungled or unduly prolonged, so the audiences are not expected to complain of having been cruelly or unusually edified.

Underhanded Dealings

It seems the beastly Russians are supplying guided missile launchers to the innocent party in the Persian Crusade, which is certainly too bad of them. Tsar Vladimir's régime stands to profit from a drawn-out conflict in Iran, and is therefore seeking to postpone the smooth and rapid victory over the mad mullahs which would inevitably have occurred before now if only the Trumpster, his head-tribble and his greased and tattooed Secretary of War had been permitted due freedom of schoolgirl-bombing. Russia has denied supplying military equipment for use against the US-Israeli assault, although it seems doubtful that the purely defensive and humanitarian usage of weapons has been enforced quite so rigorously by Russian suppliers as it famously is by British ones. In the meantime, the West can give thanks that it possesses intelligence services capable of discovering that a country may occasionally provide military help to another country even when the latter is keeping a mutual adversary occupied.