Makes It All Worth While

Having lived an apparently long and unadventurous life in the Jurassic, the largest stegosaur to leave its fossil to the Anthropocene has at last reached the apex of its existence by becoming a commodity. The head of profitable science at Sotheby's proclaimed that the $44.6 million sale to a private buyer underscores the unwavering commitment of salespersons to preserving priceless scientific finds by putting a price on them. The buyer, who apparently intends exploring the possibility of loaning the specimen to an institution, emphasised its contemporary virtues by observing that the animal "was born in America and is going to stay in America" - any nonsense about its having been born in Laurasia instead being contrary to the Bible, democracy and common sense. Though unavailable for comment, the specimen itself is among the most complete ever discovered, and showed evidence of rheumatoid arthritis but no signs of violence and, other than the paperwork at Sotheby's, no evidence of postmortem scavenging.