Moral Moderation

Even the saints are not altogether perfect, and according to newly declassified documents the Blessed Tony himself once came dangerously close to antisemitism as currently defined by the Labour Party leadership. In response to a rampage in the West Bank in 2002. the British ambassador proclaimed that a few rotten apples among the forces of the Righteous State were acting more like the beastly Russians than like worthy fellow-crusaders of those soon to civilise Afghanistan and Iraq. Fortunately for the Blessed Tony's heavenly name, these concerns were shared, and thus redeemed from the taint of the Holocaust, by the White House and its resident chimpanzee, who feared that the Israeli campaign would undermine the World Cop's own Arab-killing potential. Further safeguarding the Blessed Tony's moral exaltation is the fact that other newly-released papers show his administration considering the use of a permanent prime ministerial campaign battlebus, thereby demonstrating once more his quasi-divine capacity for prioritising electoral pragmatism. Accordingly, it seems as yet unlikely that the Blessed Tony stands in any great peril of being expelled from the Party.