Mostly Routine Incapacity

Just as there is nothing more natural and Christian when telling the truth than to assert that one is not lying, so there is nothing more normal when everything is normal than to issue a public proclamation about just how normal everything is. Thus, in the wake of some fairly normal racial slurs and death threats from the Trumpster, the White House issued a statement from the monarch's personal corporeal care custodian, Captain Sean Prettybeard, asserting that the royal heart and bowels are still in their acccustomed settings and performing their normal activities. No attempt was made to delineate the normality of the brain; presumably because the death threats and racial slurs have already made clear that the Trumpster's cranial endowments are at least as normal as those of a tangerine minimanual octogenarian powered by the radioactive defecations of a rabid mutant head-tribble possibly could be.