Another Baby-Step Too Far

Shrieks of patriotic indignation are doubtless in store over His Majesty's Government's plans to reform the Feudal System. True, the reforms are intended to benefit genuine working people, namely home-owners as opposed to the rent-paying Lumpenarbeiter; and they are also sufficiently moderate and sensible to have originated with the jabbering homunculus Michael Gove; yet there exists a very palpable risk that certain members of the propertied classes may one day be required to provide services even after taking payment for them, in defiance of all humane and British values. Then again, Team Starmer's less than Herculean attempt at polishing a few gobbets of the Augean ordure at the House of Placepersons, Parasites and Porkers is already stalled, apparently on the grounds that the Conservative Party wouldn't like it; so there seems every chance that the Feudal System will emerge from the current Parliament with little more than a few changes in departmental nomenclature.

Baghdad on the Azov

In keeping with the mainland's ambition to bestride the Atlantic as a bridge between helping Ukraine and not helping Ukraine, the CEO of Team Starmer has pledged to work towards a settlement that will satisfy the United States, even if it involves the appearance of collaborating with the beastly French. A clue to Britain's likely role may perhaps be found in the great man's use of the term "coalition of the willing" - the sobriquet of those plucky little powers who joined the Bush chimpanzee in freedomising the Middle East from the scourge of Islamic fundamentalist violence. The beastly French opted to sit out that particular crusade, while the heirs of Mr Churchill waded in with gusto under the spiritual guidance of Team Starmer's patron saint, the blessings of whose success are on all our heads to this day. It remains to be seen whether the Reverend Blair's godson-in-truth will be able to induce the wavering Euro-wogs towards making a similar triumph of Ukraine.

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