Larva Labour's Lost

Even in the realm of the Trumpster and his tribe, it seems that parasitic flesh-eating maggots are not universally welcome. A government scheme is afoot to flood the dating market of the New World screw-worm fly with artificially sterilised males: a family planning initiative which might profitably be applied to the Trump and Musk breeds if some means could be found of extending their sterility from the intellectual to the reproductive. The romantic method of pest control is more effective and less pollutive than using chemical insecticides, and is therefore being tolerated by the US government only because it helps the planet-eating parasite that is the beef industry.

Outside the Bounds of Humanity

Contrary to all recent precedent and the interests of the Righteous State, a judge has ruled that it is unlawful and unconstitutional for police to arrest, detain, handcuff, photograph, fingerprint, DNA-sample and threaten a person with strip-search even when that person is accused of antisemitism. Nottingham police arrested and processed a not altogether uncoloured protester five years ago on suspicion of racially or religiously aggravated offence against public order, and a judge has imposed punitive damages even though the arrest was made on the basis of a single denunciation and on no other evidence. Nottingham police have indicated their intention to appeal the verdict, presumably on the grounds that the protester in question has placed themselves outside the epoch-defining he/she lavatorial dichotomy and is also not a fascist, and is therefore beyond the protection of the law.