Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

It appeareth that Mr Kamu was not altogether in error when he ſpoke of the Blood being polluted with bodily Particles, for I have heard that a certain Dutchman hath put together an Arrangement of Lenſes, that can magnify and make viſible that which the unaided human Eyeball is too coarſe and crude to detect, in accordance with the Sublimities of the Divine Plan. However, I am ſure it hath not been proven, that the reſpective Conſtitutions of Engliſh and Dutch blood are in any way comparable, eſpecially as regards the Preſence of poiſonous Particles of Naſtineſs and Noiſomeneſs.

Fortunately, Her Majeſty's Government hath convoked a Comiſsion of Prieſts, Aſtrologers and other approved Men of Science, in order to enſure the continuing Pre-eminence of the National Intellect, and hath appointed to it no leſs a Perſonage than my Lord Spooges the Marqueſs of Glanders, whoſe Expertiſe in the Realm of Medicine is unrivalled in its Dominican Diſintereſtedneſs. I once had the Privilege of meeting my Lord Spooges during the great Campaign for Parliamentary Reform, when he gave out many printed Leaflets upon the Neceſsity of ſimplifying the Franchiſe to eliminate ineſsential Elements, the which he propoſed to accompliſh by amalgamating every Conſtituency in the Land into a ſingle Rotten Borough with Electors to be nominated by Miniſters of the Crown, thus enſuring the Democratick Accountability of the Voters. The diſtinguiſhed Perſpective and ſincere Ejaculations of my Lord Spooges will undoubtedly do much to eaſe the Peril of the Commiſsion's Engliſh Concluſions being contaminated by any Hollandiſh Facts.