The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Tuesday, March 30, 2021

Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

The nobleſt Values and Morals of our great Nation have been ſtimulated to new and glorious Heights of Supremacy with Her Majeſty's Government's lateſt great Proclamation, which muſt rank with Magna Carta, the Roll of Memberſhip for the Eaſt India Company, the Booke of Joſhua, the Newgate Calendar and the other defining Documents of the Conſtituton of the Greatneſs of the Engliſhneſs of our Britiſhneſs. As of yeſter Day the expendable Claſses are officially enjoined and commanded to ceaſe the rank and unproductive Idleneſs, which hath too often characteriſed the vulgar Reſponſe to the Peril of our Realm, and to reſume their Labours with due Care and Caution for the Health of their Betters, while alſo playing more Cricket. The Spirit of this moſt entrepreneurial and World-beating Innovation, is faithfully reflected in our noble Prime Miniſter, whom certain traytorous Elements among our notoriouſly radical Juſtices, Magiſtrates and other Shyſters, have had the baſe Temerity to fault, concerning various Courteſies which he hath ſhewn to his laſt Whore but two or three. Alas for the Day, when a true Gentleman in our great Country ſhould have a Caſe to anſwer over utiliſing the publick Exchequer in a healthy commercial Tranſaction. For it muſt truly be the Wreck and Ruin of all the moſt fundamental Foundations of our Civiliſation, when the Favours of a Gentleman's Whore are aſcribed to mere Boddily Urges, in defiance of all Britiſh Reſtraint and Chriſtian Continence, and aſsigned no redeeming Value in honeſt Caſh.

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