Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

To the Bloater and Blueſtocking Coffee-houſe yeſter Night for the Occaſion of the annual Belch-in to bleſs the new Yeare. My lord Swygge-Whytewyne was much moved, having received the Rank of Knight Commander of the Order of the Royal Chamber-pot, ſecond Claſs, from the very Hands of Algernon, ſeventeenth Son of the Marqueſs of Imbybe-ffynefyſhe and the perſonal Under-Secretary to the parliamentary Vice-Chancellor in Ordinary to the ſecond moſt honorary Adviſor to the proſpective junior Miniſter for private Motions. In return for my own Pledges of faithful and unfailing Service to God and Countrie, I myſelf received the Promiſe of great Honours to come, ſubject to ſome neceſsary ſmall Adjuſtment in the fiſcal Balance of the Realm, which I am aſsured will be much expedited by the prompt and efficacious Auditing of my own practical Contributions to the Proſperity of the legitimate Faction of Government. Even the moſt fanatick Partiſans of Her Majeſty's Loyall Oppoſition muſt indubitably admit, that this moderate and ſenſible Pace of ſocial Progreſs herald a new Dawn of buccaneering Peace and enterpriſing Proſperity, as ſoon as our noble Prime Miniſter can deſtroy the beaſtlie French, get the uppity Niggers back to their legitimate God-given Labours, and foil the traytorous Machinations of the Woo Han Peſtilence and its aſsociated Conſpiracies of aſsorted ſubverſive and peſsimiſtick medical Practitioners.