Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

Our noble and moſt liſsome Prime Miniſter, the Trimneſs of whoſe Guſset may juſtly be ſayed to rivall any in the Land, aſsuming that ſufficient Latitude be allowed for the naturall Ebullience of the ariſtocratick Fleſh, particularly with Regard to the known Admixture in his Blood from the Sherbet-ſucking Odaliſques of the Ottomans, hath moſt wiſely and virtuouſly decreed that the Poor of our Nation are become too bloated in their Luxury to be of due Service to the Realm, and that our Taverns and Shoppes ſhall henceforward and hithertofore refrain from exceſsive and wanton Diſplay of thoſe Comfits and Sweetmeats, which may bring Temptation to the Feeble of Will and provoke undue Stimulation of their beſtial Appetites. The requiſite Law is expected to paſs not more than eighteen Moons from now, as there is none among the great Man's immediate ſocial Circle who hath the neceſsarie Neighbours or Acquaintances to get a Profit from it ſooner. It is to be hoped by all charitable and Chriſtian Men, that the bloated and unſightly Corſes of the inſufficiently ſtarved will ſhortly become a proper Rarity upon the Streets of our World-beſtriding Capitall, and that the innocent Sugar-planters, who have ſuffered ſuch Troubles from their uppity Niggers in this long Yeare of unprofitable Fatalities, will be permitted the Juſtice of adequate fiſcal Compenſation.