Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

I heare from my Lord the Marqueſs of Slypslymie-Clyſterpype, Adjutant in Ordinary to the Palace Chirurgeon and Maſter of the Royal Sphincter, that our noble and beloved Leader hath acquired a new Filly to diſtract the Publick, and by the Operations of a malign Coincidence hath once more been forſed to ſeclude his precious Self, for the Protection of the Nation and the final and utter Defeat of the inſidious Woo Han Peſtilence. So profound is the Senſe of renewed Hope amid the Halls of the Mighty, that there is encouraging Talk of commencing a new Warre with ſelected European Powers within a Weeke of Chriſtmas.

Meanwhile the traytorous Surgeons and Apothecaries continue to ſpread the moſt arrant and ungodly ſuperſtitious Nonſenſe, even deſcending unto rank Subverſiveneſs with the blaſphemous Aſsertion, that ſhould any Cure or Prevention be diſcovered for this dread foreign Plague, all Citizens ought to benefit from Treatment, whether from the deſerving Claſses or no. A moſt proper Ripoſte came from certain Holders in a Modern Corporation, who ſtated that their own patented Cure will be provided at low Coſt until the the opprobrious Calumnies of the Shirkers may be outweighted by the Profits to be gathered from raiſing the Price. Indeed it would be a moſt encouraging Sign of Progreſs, ſhould ſuch delicate economick Judgements be altogether removed from the ſanguinary Hands of the medical Profeſsion, and placed upon the broad and accommodating Shoulders of reſponſible Buſineſses, to the immenſe and convenient Diſcomfiture of the uncommercial Heathen.