Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

Much Rejoycing yeſter Night at the Bloater and Blueſtocking Coffee-houſe, when we learned that the Governor of our American Colonies hath now fully recovered his accuſtomed Vitality and Britiſhneſs of Demeanour, and hath gone about in his Coach to receive the Reverence and merited Adoration of his relieved Publick. When my Lord Lylack-Wynebybbe conveyed the happy Tidings, there aroſe a great ſpontaneous Cheering from the ſeventy-ninth Meeting of the Claſsical Libertarian League of Bare-faced Anti-Maſquers, upon finding themſelves ſeated upon that golden Throne of moral Authority and Rectitude, whoſe ſedentary Occupation is the treaſured Privilege of the Righteous and entrepreneurially Foreſighted. The mere Fact, that ſeven in every Dozen of thoſe having had recent Intercourſe with the Governor, have themſelves become infected with the Woo Han Peſtilence, merely demonſtrates the unrelenting Determination of the cunning Heathen to ſet the whole of Weſtern medical Science upon the wrong Track, namely the groteſque Superſtition preached by certain Dutchmen, that various Particles and Animalcules ſo minuſcule as to be inviſible to the God-given Eyeball of Mankind, can induce fatal Damage and Decay in a pure-bred Britiſh Organ. I have to-day written ſerverall dozen Letters, to the effect that it would not ſurpriſe me to learn, that these Hollandiſh Lens-grinders have their Part in the international foreign Conſpiracy to take back New Amſterdam and form a treacherous Grand Alliance with the beaſtlie French, and I remain in imminent Expectation of good news from the Miniſtry of War.