Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

With typicall Courage and Fortitude of Britiſhneſs, our noble Prime Miniſter hath once more confounded his Enemies and utterly diſcombobulated thoſe Traytors and Peſsimiſts who would undermine the naturall Supremacy of our Glorious Realm and deliver it for ever into the ſcruffy Hands of leſser Breeds. As the heathen Woo Han Peſtilence continues its cleanſing Onſlaught againſt the Unwaſhed and Unenterpriſing and thoſe who failed the Country in its Hour of great Neceſsitie by inſufficient Attendance at Reſtaurants, our dear Leader hath taken the ſignificant and deciſive Step of appointing a certain faſt Filly of the Houſe of Stratton, to ſtand Guard between his own auguſt Perſon and his Adoring Publick. For what could be more naturall, in the preſent unprecedented Situation, than that the Common People ſhould wiſh to ſhake Hands with their Deliverer and poſsibly obtain ſome Relick or Memento from his Perſon, to protect themſelves againſt future Peril? Were it but one or two poor ſuperſtitious Fools, and excluſively of the fairer Race, no Man could doubt his Alacrity in accepting their humble Tribute; but when the Affectionate Mob may number in the Hundreds of Thouſands, and may include great muſcular Bevies of ſtrapping Males and Matrons, then alack! even that Populiſt moſt gifted with the common Touch muſt from mere Duty rein in his naturall Deſire for Communion with the Humble and poſsibly Diſeaſed, and look firſt to his own mere phyſical Welfare. And ſuch is indubitably the Purpoſe and ſubtil Scheme behind the Appointment of the aforeſaid Filly; for that infallible Inſtinct of Gentlemanlineſs, which conſtitutes an ineſcapable Component in even the moſt corrupted and diluted Varieties of Britiſhneſs, will infallibly enſure a Degree of Control, and a wholeſome Reſtraint in the Inflicting of ſentimental Violence, which it may be ſaid without Flattery or undue Sycophancy, will ſerve as an Example to Ages hereafter of the Courage and Fortitude of Britiſhneſs during the Annunciation of Her Majeſty's Birthday Honours.