Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

Truly it hath been ſayed, by our Lord and Saviour among other notable Champions of Britiſh Values, that a rotten Tree cannot but bring forth bad Fruit; and so it hath proven in that earthly Reflection of the eternal Kingdom, which is Her Majeſty's Government, for a certain Phyſician hath been ſummarily diſmiſsed from his adviſory Poſition over an untimely Dalliance with a married Strumpet. The Phyſician in queſtion is a Promulgator and Propounder of that wicked and foreign Theory, whereby the Peſtilence derives from the Action of ſmall inviſible Particles of Noiſomenenſs conſpiring to invade a healthy Britiſh Body. The Lack of moral Fibre in the diſcredited Sawbones, by driving him to ſinful Incontinence and depraved Depths of carnal Luſt for a hot heaving Boſom and quivering alabaſter Haunches belonging to a reſpectable Family, hath ſurely diſcredited once for all this moſt pernicious alien Superſtition.

I have alſo heard it lately rumoured, that the prophylactick Meaſures against the Peſtilence are to be eaſed as far as opening up the national Gardens. This appeareth to me a moſt wiſe and foreſighted Policy, which will do much to prevent the Royal Parklands from being miſuſed growing Wheat to pander the Poor and Indigent and their ever more virulent Addiction to Bread. Alſo with the firſt Blaze of Summer upon us, the Piles of blackened and Maggot-ridden Corpſes which have feſtooned our fair City theſe paſt Months will at laſt have the Opportunity of attaining a proper and hygienic Uſefulneſs, thanks to the increaſed Demand for Fertiliſer.