Journal of the Plague Year
continued, by a Gentleman
I have received moſt diſcouraging Reports from the Bailiffs at my ſeverall country Eſtates, concerning the Effect of the Peſtilence upon my Tenants. Perhaps worſt of all is the News that many elderly and infirm Perſons are among the dead, with terrible Conſequences for the naſcent Cottage Induſtrie of home-produced Beef Paſte, in which it now ſeemeth my Intereſt will ſhow little or no Profit this coming Twelvemonth. At Scrotal a great Bottleneck hath cauſed horrid Diſorder among Pfeffel's Wild Oats until the poiſonous Tide was turned back with upright Pikeſtaffe and unflinching Britiſh Exaſperation. The Populace at Gammonleigh and Little Frumpage hath been ſo much reduced, that thoſe remaining can ſcarce keep up the Fields for paucity of Muckers, and at Furgle-up-the-Furrow there is like to be no Pressing of the Plums until next Michaelmas at the earlieſt. Likewiſe the Pigſwill-cludgers at Market Footling are ſo diſgruntled of late, that there is Talk among the Yokelry of going out and hanging all Papiſts, Jews and Crones within a mile of the Village Square, which will mean much Paper-work for me in drawing up the appropriate Permiſsions.
Indeed it would ſeem little ſave a univerſal Counſell of Deſpond, did we not baſk in the Leaderſhip of our noble Prime Miniſter, who hath announced this very Day that our Kingdom hath ſuſtained the greateſt number of Deaths in the whole of Europe, owing ſolely to the mathematical Fact of an Engliſhman having ſo many times the Worth of any Foreigner. Therefore in accordance with my patriotick Duty to ſupport the Economy through the preſent Scarcity of Drudges I am reſolved to raiſe the Rents in all my Holdings by next Quarter-day. This will neceſsitate my accepting a ſmaller Proportion of my Due from the Collaterally Deſtitute, and my Throat is already ſorely fatigued from dictating the requiſite Final Demands and the Charters of Eviction and Outfangthief; but in ſuch Times as these one muſt brace to one's Duties no matter the perſonal Coſt.
I have received moſt diſcouraging Reports from the Bailiffs at my ſeverall country Eſtates, concerning the Effect of the Peſtilence upon my Tenants. Perhaps worſt of all is the News that many elderly and infirm Perſons are among the dead, with terrible Conſequences for the naſcent Cottage Induſtrie of home-produced Beef Paſte, in which it now ſeemeth my Intereſt will ſhow little or no Profit this coming Twelvemonth. At Scrotal a great Bottleneck hath cauſed horrid Diſorder among Pfeffel's Wild Oats until the poiſonous Tide was turned back with upright Pikeſtaffe and unflinching Britiſh Exaſperation. The Populace at Gammonleigh and Little Frumpage hath been ſo much reduced, that thoſe remaining can ſcarce keep up the Fields for paucity of Muckers, and at Furgle-up-the-Furrow there is like to be no Pressing of the Plums until next Michaelmas at the earlieſt. Likewiſe the Pigſwill-cludgers at Market Footling are ſo diſgruntled of late, that there is Talk among the Yokelry of going out and hanging all Papiſts, Jews and Crones within a mile of the Village Square, which will mean much Paper-work for me in drawing up the appropriate Permiſsions.
Indeed it would ſeem little ſave a univerſal Counſell of Deſpond, did we not baſk in the Leaderſhip of our noble Prime Miniſter, who hath announced this very Day that our Kingdom hath ſuſtained the greateſt number of Deaths in the whole of Europe, owing ſolely to the mathematical Fact of an Engliſhman having ſo many times the Worth of any Foreigner. Therefore in accordance with my patriotick Duty to ſupport the Economy through the preſent Scarcity of Drudges I am reſolved to raiſe the Rents in all my Holdings by next Quarter-day. This will neceſsitate my accepting a ſmaller Proportion of my Due from the Collaterally Deſtitute, and my Throat is already ſorely fatigued from dictating the requiſite Final Demands and the Charters of Eviction and Outfangthief; but in ſuch Times as these one muſt brace to one's Duties no matter the perſonal Coſt.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home