Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

Amid much Concern that the beaſtlie French and their Allies the Heathens of Woo Han may have ſabotaged the national Economy by their inſidious and premature Recovery from the Peſtilence, our noble Prime Miniſter hath declared that Perſons of more expendable Quality may return to their Labours, provided they can reach an Accommodation with their Maſters under the impartial Superviſion of whatever Troops may be at hand. The moral and material Perils of Unemployment and Idleneſs will thereby be much reduced, as Loafers and Shirkers will be induced to carry away the Corſes of any who drop in the Street.

Given the abyſmal Prophecies concerning the ſtate of the Economy, I have made my own ſmall Contribition to the national Recovery by rationaliſing the Wages of all the Servants. The more well-trained Demi-Beaſts of our lower Claſses reſpond to ſuch motivating Incentives with much Commonſenſe, as a good Horſe reſpondeth to the Laſh, and certainly during our Seſsions with the Riding-crop my Chamber-maid, though for the moſt part a lazy ſlovenly Slattern, may even be ſaid to have exceſsively belaboured the Area of her Reſponſibility. It is two Nights ſince I announced the Wage Reform, and I ſtill have to write ſtanding up.