Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

To-day the Realm hath been bleſsed with the joyous Tidings of a new Heir to our Mother of Democracies, as the Prime Miniſter's favourite Filly as was ſome nine Moons gone, hath been delivered this Morning of his lateſt Baſtard. This Baſtard is diſtinguiſhable from all his other Baſtards by the unique pre-marital Condition of its Expungement, which moral Virtue maketh it immeaſurably ſuperior to the Broods upon Broods of merely extra-marital Baſtards which the Father of the Nation hath heretofore been accuſtomed to ſiring. Provided there is no Neceſsity to court the Sympathies of the Publick with a timely Bereavement, in the Manner of two recent Predeceſsors, the Iſsue being male can look forward to a moſt profitable Career as a Miniſter for Being Related to a Miniſter, after the nobleſt Traditions of adminiſtrative Britiſhneſs. Our dear Leader himſelf is almoſt entirely recovered from his recent Malady, and his Whore is unlikely to expire of the poſt-partum Megrims becauſe the Archbiſhop of Canterbury hath offered up a Prayer requeſting the Contrary: a moſt neceſsary Precaution as the Surgeon in attendance is notoriouſly partial to the Waſhing of Hands and ſundry other effete and diſguſting outlandiſh Affectations.