Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

Our ungrateful Coloniſts and the malicious Conquered are ready as ever to indulge their vile ſpirit of Rebellion, and have taken to treacherouſly importing themſelves into the very Heart of Empire and then expiring in ſuch prodigious Numbers as to impede the normal Progreſs of Economy. Nay worſe: many go ſo far as to ſet themſelves up as Surgeons, Apothecaries, Nurſes and ſuchlike Profiteers of Peſtilence, and then after ſome perfunctorie Attendance upon the Indigent Ineſsential, proceed to Render up their Souls in the moſt hiſtrionick Manner, to moſt dire moral Effect. Their Demiſes are ſo cunningly contrived as to pre-empt their very Deportations, ſeeking thereby to accomplish a fatal Diſsolution of our Britiſh Phlegm and leave our mighty Britannia a ſhrinking and hapleſs Maiden whoſe chaſte white Thighs and fathomleſs purple Boſom can do naught but wobble in Abject Terror before the maſsed and diſcoloured Todgery of rampant Foreignneſs. Truly it were a Proſpect to make one perſpire with Apprehenſion, even without the daily Annoyance of Litter-bearers tripping over the duſky Corſes of thoſe who have died on the wrong ſide of the Road.