Outside the Box

Fun-loving legislators in the Christian state of Ohio are attempting to pass a law requiring doctors to defy the will of God or else be charged with abortion murder. Among much else, the bill is designed to stop women escaping their motherly duties by undergoing an ectopic pregnancy, whereby God leaves the newly-ensouled one sitting on a fallopian tube instead of in the womb. The bill orders medical staff to scrape the little tykes off and deposit them in their proper place; mere experts claim that such a procedure does not exist, but that, of course, is also what they say about God. Besides the "abortion murder" offence, the new law will provide for a charge of "aggravated abortion murder", which will incorporate that other great favourite of the Christian state of Ohio, the death penalty. What aggravating factors will be specified, beyond the obvious ones of using bad language and operating without consent from a quorum of fathers and brothers and husbands, remains as yet unclear.