Martyr of Science

The Christian state of Ohio is preparing to carry out an interesting scientific experiment on a human subject. Having botched an execution last week (not an altogether unprecedented occurrence), the Christian state of Ohio intends using a new combination of drugs in an attempt to get around the manufacturer's boycott which has deprived America's finest of their weapon of preference. (The Republican senator from the Christian state of Wyoming has been touting the economic virtues of the cheap and cheery firing squad.) It is possible that the injections may cause the executee several minutes of agony, from the kind of slow suffocation that used to be one of the more enjoyable features of an old-fashioned hanging; but a judge has ruled that there is as yet insufficient proof, and the settling of the question must be left to the experimenters. The attorney general's office of the Christian state of Ohio admitted the possibility of guinea-pig discomfort, but contended that a pain-free execution was not among the state's obligations towards its more wayward children.