Applied Recidivism

In another stirring example of the Conservative Party's respect for law and order, the Secretary of State for Gun-Running has admitted to a further breach of the ban on arms sales to the head-chopping House of Saud. Unlike her boss, who simply blathers, squats where he is and does not resign, the Mary Elizabeth Appliance prefers to blather and offer an unreserved apology, after which she squats where she is and does not resign. After last week's revelation of her previous honest mistake, Truss failed to take the precaution of allowing for further revelations in the future, thereby granting her enemies all the more scope for performative moral shock. It remains as yet unclear how responsibility for this particular fiasco should be apportioned between the staffing culls of the Osbornomic miracle, the legendary incompetence of the appliance, and the general criminality of the Government as a whole; fortunately, a departmental review is already in progress towards an appropriate placing of blame upon migrants, Brussels and the Labour Party.