The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Downsizing Defence

One of the most important attributes of a modern military force is the ability to move quickly and seize opportunities as they arise; hence the best army in the world (Britain's, for those who came in late) has not rested content with politicians' promises to hand over chunks of the state education system for recruit farming. Following on from last summer's exciting news about quad bikes, the army has been advertising in a gaming magazine with the infotaintalising tidings that fighting unruly wogs abroad and contributing to law and order in the Emergency Protectorate of Brexitannia are both largely a matter of pressing buttons. It is true that over a fifth of gamers are aged between eight and seventeen, which makes them only slightly more mature than the present Secretary of State for Wog-Bombing; but it remains unclear how specific the advertisement managed to be about little Gavin's precise path from the field of military glory to the former great office of state.

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