The Curmudgeon


Monday, December 28, 2009

All the Same, Yet Not All the Same

Daveybloke, the Cuddly Conservative, has eructated a pre-emptive new year's message claiming that the differences between his party and the Liberal Democrats are "a lot less than in the past". The Liberal Democrats are in favour of parliamentary reform and proportional representation, while Daveybloke's Cuddly Conservatives are in favour of first-past-the-post and safeguarding the trough for the right sort of people; but aside from that, in the unlikely event of a hung parliament Daveybloke feels they can work together. "Whether you're Labour, Conservative or Liberal Democrat, you're motivated by pretty much the same progressive aims," Daveybloke conciliated, although apparently this does not mean that the differences between his party and New New Labour are a lot less than in the past; oh! perish the thought. Daveybloke, for example, simply cannot stand "politicians who think they have the answer to everything and just can't bear to leave people alone to get on with their lives"; hence his enthusiasm for macho policing and the biometric state. Daveybloke's progressive aims include "a country that is safer, fairer, greener and where opportunity is more equal", but it is far from clear as yet how far he intends to reverse New New Labour's policies of terrorist motivation, filthy-richness exacerbation, airport metastasis and coal-fired power stations.

Fortunately, Daveybloke also believes that elections are not just about policy; which is jolly convenient. Daveybloke believes that elections are also a matter of character, attitude and approach and how political leaders actually behave. This is understandable enough in a politician whose major policy decisions so far have been to engage in a bit of Austerity Bloke posturing, to cuddle up with the far right in Europe, and to criticise New New Labour's pitiful economic interventions as insufficiently inclined to leave the meltdown alone to get on with its life; but it might yet be cause for concern among the electorate, even those tempted to vote for the party of Nick "Who?" Clegg.


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