Oh How We Laughed

Whatever else Daveybloke's Cuddly Coulson may have disremembered about his stint as a scumbag press editor, he is certainly earning his pay as regards helping Daveybloke to engage with the proles. Last month Daveybloke made his jolly jest about certain people's idea of Britishness being a bit too close to the ideas of the beastly Hun, while planning to retain the database state which is the main cause of the concerns he was supposedly trying to allay. This month Daveybloke tried the wizard wheeze of arguing that his government will be nicer to carers than the government of Gordon Brown, on the self-evident grounds that the kind of bereaved parent who can use his dead son to score a few cheap political points is the kind of bereaved parent who will appeal to everyone's inner News of the World reader.

Today, Daveybloke has tried the super jape of utilising well-researched low-earner argot during a discussion of Conservative responses to the political, economic, environmental, demographic and humanitarian difficulties which face us at present. "What a top bloke," drooled a sycophantic interviewer for Absolute Radio as Daveybloke observed in humorous vein that "the trouble with Twitter, the instantness of it - too many twits might make a twat." Directly addressing the all-powerful C1s and C2s, with his and Coulson's no doubt characteristic respect for the intelligence and vocabulary of the British public, Daveybloke also said that the public were "pissed off" with politicians; and he did his bit for the dignity and character of the Houses of Parliament by holding forth on pop music, The A-Team and which end of the bath he sits in. How marvellously Daveybloke has matured since his Bullingdon days.