Poverty, Obedience, Humility

Well, it appears that the General Synod may yet decide to take the Saviour's words about sparrows and lilies in the sense they were probably meant; namely that the priestly élite should not concern itself with planning ahead or earning a living, but should live as parasites on those who have the bad taste not to forsake parents, wife or children for His representatives' sake. The delightfully-christened Very Reverend Archimandrite Father Ephrem Lash responded to calls for greater economy by calling for the church to be made even more top-heavy than it already is. At present, the number of senior staff has remained virtually constant for half a century, while the number of ordinary clergy has been nearly cut in half; the Very Reverend Archimandrite Father Ephrem Lash evidently believes that this trend has not been carried far enough. The Very Reverend Archimandrite Father Ephrem Lash received "the loudest applause of the afternoon" as, with due regard for good sense and consistency, the Synod rejected a motion to "streamline" the church's departments and committees on the grounds that it would minimise the influence of potential deserters. The Archbishop of York did his best to put the masses in their place, noting that his own ideas of good and bad "are not matters of opinion or merely topics for debate", a fact of which we are all aware thanks to the famous non-divisiveness of faith schools. Perhaps as a precaution against the delusion of debate, the church hierarchs have decided to cut the whole mumble short by a day, much to the chagrin of those who believe obedience is a virtue; the Archbishop blithely rubbed it in by reminding his little lambs that "relationships should be based on more than who called the shots".