Our Spirit and Strength
Another personal message from Tony Blair has slithered into my inbox, grinning with commiseration and another verbless slogan, "New Labour New Britain". To distract us from warmed-over Conservative policies, it seems those cunning fiends of spin doctors have hit upon warmed-over Conservative campaign propaganda. I'm afraid the message really is titled "Our Spirit and Stength"; but I must point out in all fairness that, unlike previous sermons from this pulpit, it refrains from addressing me as "Dear supporter".
"Last month," Tony commences, "we promised to keep you up-to-date about the outcome of Britain's Olympic bid and the G8 summit that took place last week." Tony always keeps his promises. In case the outcome of Britain's Olympic bid was in any doubt, I am informed further down that we won it. A major factor was "the spirit and diversity of London and the United Kingdom", apparently. Willingness to spend taxpayers' money on a business-friendly white elephant had nothing whatever to do with it. What a relief.
Another of Tony's achievements, with which he concludes his sermon, was that of the G8 summit: "the $50bn uplift in aid, the signal for a new deal on trade, the cancellation of the debts of the poorest nations, universal access to AIDS treatment, the commitment to a new peacekeeping force for Africa". Uplift?
But most important of all, let us not forget "the commitment in return by Africa's leaders to democracy, good governance and the rule of law". In order to "help make our world a more just, stable and peaceful place", Africa will have to do as it's told. If it doesn't conform to Tony and George's idea of good governance, then presumably the debts will stay in place, AIDS will have its way, and aid will not be uplifted. Truly, as Tony says, we can be proud.
However, Tony's achievements have been upstaged a little by the terrorist attack on London, and it is to this that he devotes the bulk of his tractatus misericordiae. As so often in such matters, the main problem is to get the moral condemnation in quickly, before the adjectives run out. In these days of up-to-the-minute, twenty-four-hour professional news and commentary, it is all too easy to be left with the dregs after horrifying, callous, murderous and the rest have all been done to death by the BBC. Writing five whole days after the bombings, Tony must make do with "murderous carnage" and some of George W Bush's rhetorical hand-me-downs: "We are determined to bring all those responsible to justice and to ensure our values and way of life remain undiminished." They hate us 'cause we're free.
"Anyone who heard the response of MPs of all parties," Tony declares, "would have been left in no doubt about the resolve and unity of our country". Apparently the three main parties of supporting the troops, controlling the rabble and letting business do as it pleases represent the entire gamut of political opinion. Not only are we all resolved and unified, but "this national determination is shared by the overwhelming majority of Britain's Muslim community". Not just the country, but almost all of Britain's Muslims share the national unified resolution to be nationally determined to be resolute and unified.
Well, gosh.
"Together," Tony continues, "our modern, diverse and tolerant country will ensure the terrorists fail in their attempts to destroy the way of life we all share and value." Except for a smallish minority of British Muslims, it appears. Presumably they were the ones responsible, directly or indirectly, for the murderous carnage which, as Tony would no doubt agree, cannot possibly be compared with our ongoing war for democracy, good governance and the rule of law in Iraq.
"Last month," Tony commences, "we promised to keep you up-to-date about the outcome of Britain's Olympic bid and the G8 summit that took place last week." Tony always keeps his promises. In case the outcome of Britain's Olympic bid was in any doubt, I am informed further down that we won it. A major factor was "the spirit and diversity of London and the United Kingdom", apparently. Willingness to spend taxpayers' money on a business-friendly white elephant had nothing whatever to do with it. What a relief.
Another of Tony's achievements, with which he concludes his sermon, was that of the G8 summit: "the $50bn uplift in aid, the signal for a new deal on trade, the cancellation of the debts of the poorest nations, universal access to AIDS treatment, the commitment to a new peacekeeping force for Africa". Uplift?
But most important of all, let us not forget "the commitment in return by Africa's leaders to democracy, good governance and the rule of law". In order to "help make our world a more just, stable and peaceful place", Africa will have to do as it's told. If it doesn't conform to Tony and George's idea of good governance, then presumably the debts will stay in place, AIDS will have its way, and aid will not be uplifted. Truly, as Tony says, we can be proud.
However, Tony's achievements have been upstaged a little by the terrorist attack on London, and it is to this that he devotes the bulk of his tractatus misericordiae. As so often in such matters, the main problem is to get the moral condemnation in quickly, before the adjectives run out. In these days of up-to-the-minute, twenty-four-hour professional news and commentary, it is all too easy to be left with the dregs after horrifying, callous, murderous and the rest have all been done to death by the BBC. Writing five whole days after the bombings, Tony must make do with "murderous carnage" and some of George W Bush's rhetorical hand-me-downs: "We are determined to bring all those responsible to justice and to ensure our values and way of life remain undiminished." They hate us 'cause we're free.
"Anyone who heard the response of MPs of all parties," Tony declares, "would have been left in no doubt about the resolve and unity of our country". Apparently the three main parties of supporting the troops, controlling the rabble and letting business do as it pleases represent the entire gamut of political opinion. Not only are we all resolved and unified, but "this national determination is shared by the overwhelming majority of Britain's Muslim community". Not just the country, but almost all of Britain's Muslims share the national unified resolution to be nationally determined to be resolute and unified.
Well, gosh.
"Together," Tony continues, "our modern, diverse and tolerant country will ensure the terrorists fail in their attempts to destroy the way of life we all share and value." Except for a smallish minority of British Muslims, it appears. Presumably they were the ones responsible, directly or indirectly, for the murderous carnage which, as Tony would no doubt agree, cannot possibly be compared with our ongoing war for democracy, good governance and the rule of law in Iraq.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home