Your Gravy Train is Buffering

The nation's greatest infoslop emporium appears to have developed a certain Britishness about its completion schedule. Initiated as part of Team Starmer's dash for data and boosted as oven-ready for 2027, the project thus far amounts to the promises of some people who value themselves at a modest twenty-six thousand million sterling, and an empty scaffolding yard. A further three hundred and fourteen infoslop emporia are waiting in line, and it is estimated that their energy consumption will amount to a hundred and sixty per cent of the peak demand for the entire country; so the National Grid will need some time to adjust its priorities and get the little people accustomed to the blackouts and the bills. Doubtless the discombobulation of the beastly Russians and the Heathen Chinee will make it all worth while at some point.