Flat Earthers

Unelected cartocrats at the United Nations are seeking to subvert the very layout of the globe, as depicted since the sixteenth century via the Mercator projection. Although only a Belgian, Mercator was sufficiently objective to place Great Britain at the centre of the world and inflate the country's physical size to approximate its moral status. No such refinement of scruple afflicts the beastly Togolese, who are leading an African insurrection in favour of woke materialistic maps reflecting, of all things, mere crude physical facts. For the moment the agitation is confined to matters of scale, so there is as yet no suggestion that the Greenwich meanland should be dislodged from its central position; but one can never tell where things will end once the proper perspective has been abandoned.