British Fair Play is a Beautiful Thing

Readers of a certain vintage will recall a previous Labour government's increasingly desperate efforts, in the wake of the Iraq crusade, to preserve the shores of Albion from any influx of erstwhile darkie assistants. The current protectors of the realm have enhanced the Britishness yet further by continuing to refuse resettlement to Afghanis who aided the occupying forces, even after the Ministry for Wog-Bombing considerately made thousands of their identities available to the Taliban. Britain may be a nation of animal lovers, but that doesn't mean our charity extends to collaborators who helped us lose a war: they will just have to go back to their compounds and try to do better next time. Perhaps fairest and most beautiful of all is the fact that, should the next Anglo-Afghan war end otherwise than with the forces of liberation scurrying off in defeat, those natives who share in our glory will not require resettlement from the paradise they have helped to create.