God's Own Charlie

There are few things tyrants like less than having attention called to their mistakes, and the Deity is evidently no exception. A New York sculptor, and an immigrant to boot, has spent a hundred thousand of his own money to create a graven image of the martyred Charles James Kirk, who was killed last September by an assassin's bullet which Baby Jesus and His family connections unaccountably failed to deflect into someone less important. The artist modestly compares his motives with those of da Vinci and Michelangelo, both of whom created work on commission for people who would probably agree with Kirk on such matters as the rights of non-Christians and the proper position of women in society. Alas, the Deity's wounded pride seems to have brought down a curse upon the sculpture, which instead of the anticipated millions has raised only a lot of messages from people wishing to give it an organic baptism, and has also indirectly caused the modern Leonardo di Buonarroti to break his foot. With a faith of which the prophets would be proud, the great man insists that the piece is not cursed but blessed, and has announced a plan to dump it in Times Square on the anniversary of Kirk's transfiguration. In light of the Deity's famously refined sense of humour, it is certainly to be hoped that nothing unfortunate occurs.