Britishness Imperilled Yet Again

Our United Kingdom is a voluntary association of four nations: Wales (voluntarily conquered and annexed in the thirteenth century), Scotland (voluntarily yoked by royal arrangement in the seventeenth century and fused by élite stitch-up in the eighteenth), Ireland (voluntarily conquered in the seventeenth century, exploited and brutalised through the eighteenth, depopulated by starvation in the nineteenth, partitioned in the twentieth, patronised in the twenty-first), and England, voluntary benefactor and resources manager to all the aforementioned. Patriots will therefore be disturbed to observe that elements among the provinces are actively and deliberately undertaking the treasonous and un-British business of plotting to vitiate their voluntariousness. In the event of a Farage Falange success at the next general election, and the assorted final solutions to the nation's problems which would most likely follow, there seems a very real prospect that the provinces will seek to secede from the mainland in premeditated acts of crypto-Caribbean ingratitude. It is therefore to be hoped that a suitable portion of the planned welfare bonanza for the Ministry of Wog-Bombing will be spared for the Farage Falange and its strutting Caudillo to maintain stability on the Home Front, even at the cost of slightly delaying Westminster's forthcoming invasion of Russia and concomitant rescue of Western civilisation.