Tainted Holes

Despite several years of intermittent proximity to the Trumpster and his rabid radioactive head-tribble, it seems that certain portions of the White House have become unaccountably toxic. The monarch has requisitioned three Washington DC golf courses for conversion into his personal pleasure gardens, and some dumped rubble from the palace renovations was found to be poisoning the soil. A federal judge has attempted to interfere, warning of serious consequences should these ecological adjustments be permitted to continue without first filing the appropriate paperwork. How far the head-tribble will be minded to adapt its reproductive cycle to the whims of the judiciary remains as yet unclear.