Lizard Droppings

As the hurricane season draws to its end, the loving God of the United States must needs have recourse to other means of chastising His chosen people. Despite the Trumpster's tariffs, Canada has somehow managed to export an Arctic blast of record low temperatures which, besides refuting yet further the Heathen Chinee hoax of global warming, is likely to cause a polar plunge across two-thirds of the Free World. Not even the sacred realm of Ronald of the Saints is to be spared: residents of the Christian state of Florida have been warned to beware of falling iguanas, and weather experts have emphasised that the threat should be taken seriously. Indeed, less three years ago God chastised a man for practising yoga by allowing him to be injured by a plummeting iguana; so it would be imprudent to doubt that He means business.