Watch the Skies, Not the Scum

As befits a born-again Christian and thus a true believer in solving imaginary problems, a peculiar political bag lady is trying to scare up funding for her fourth season ticket onto the Washington gravy train by pledging to pursue the truth about UFOs. Some of the pledge was made with Caps Lock actuated, presumably in order to emphasise the sanity of the proceedings; for it should by no means be imagined that Lauren Boebert's concerns about alien incursions are recent or immature. Almost a year ago she raised the alarm about unidentified anomalous phenomena in the oceans, from which at least one source has observed an orb emerging and being met by another orb. It would of course be frivolous to suggest that the sighting may merely have been the beaching of two economy-sized beneficiaries of the great American diet, and no such horrid notions will be entertained by your correspondent; at least not for very long. Nonetheless, it is hard to avoid the suspicion that Boebert's habitual caution and restraint may not altogether outweigh the indiscretion of exposing extraterrestrials in a country whose nominal chief executive is operated solely by the toxic diarrhoea of a rabid radioactive head-tribble.