Our Dustbins Are Bigger Than Yours

In keeping with Britain's status as a world-beating champion of the environment, His Majesty's Government has allowed an eighty-four per cent increase in the amount of plastic waste dumped on the lesser breeds. The beastly Euro-wogs have banned exports of waste to poorer nations, so failing to take advantage of the resulting gap in the market would have been fiscally irresponsible, un-entrepreneurial and doubtless antisemitic. Besides, at least one of the receiving countries is sufficiently liberated from health and safety bureaucracy that the recycling sector kills about two people per month; so the master race is not only greener but also at marginally smaller risk from the migrant inundation.