Political Politeness

You should never kick a centrist on the shin,
For that would be an antisocial sin:
To make him yelp and shout
While hopping all about
Is surely not the proper way to win.

You should never smack a Tory round the chops,
For he only wants low tax and bigger cops;
And when you slap his jowls,
His squeals, complaints and howls
May make him doubt that he is quite the tops.

You should never kick a centrist in the gut;
For it isn't a polite way to rebut
His ever-present urge
To have another purge
Of those who fail to cheer the welfare cut.

You should never punch a fascist in the face,
For he only wants to save the master race;
And when you up and slug him
It is liable to bug him
And put him off his patriotic pace.

You should never kick a centrist in the crotch
As it limits his capacity to watch
For immigrant attacks
By making him relax
His necessary vigilance a notch.

You should never hurt these democratic souls
Nor bludgeon them with nasty weighted polls;
But vote and be delighted
At how they're all united:
How moderate and sensible their goals.

Samuel Grimsnipe