Lowe Quality

As with the National Johnson (remember him?), the appeal of the Farage Falange for the great British public is presumably that they offer simple solutions in words of one syllable, with open season on wogs thrown in as a bonus. Strangely enough, their straight words are sometimes accompanied by clean and direct actions on the order of a left-handed corkscrew at a Thames Water board meeting. In a move eerily reminiscent of all those wealthy Brexiters who celebrated British independence by shunting their assets into the EU, one of the Falange's parliamentary nano-rabble has installed solar panels on his farm, even as the First Subfarage goebbeled that renewable energy was a "massive con" and one of the two or three things in the country that would be taxed under a Falange thousand-year plan. Given that the Falange has only five expenses claimants in the Commons, a policy split is quite an achievement; especially a policy split that can elicit accusations of hypocrisy from the Deputy Conservatives and of incoherence from Team Starmer. Nevertheless, despite its paltry parliamentary presence the Falange must still be given its due as a political bellwether: it belongs to the hallowed private sector, so His Majesty's Government and His Majesty's Loyal Opposition are straining to out-ugly one another in pandering to its base.