If Muroids be the Food of Love

Conservationists in British Columbia have come up with a novel campaign for Valentine's Day: for the price of a few dollars, a dead rat named after an ex can be fed to a northern spotted owl, and photos and videos provided as a souvenir. The scheme is called No regRATS, a lapse into tabloidese which is perhaps the least tasteful thing about it; but that aside, the combination of Gallic sentimentality over animals with Anglo-Saxon erotic proficiency should ensure its appeal across the whole nation. Whether the programme will be sustainable beyond Valentine's Day remains as yet unclear; although few would deny its potential should its popularity extend to Canada's noisy and extremist southern neighbour. If indignant northern rodent-lovers were to set up a few ratlines into the homes of some meaty Republicans, the resulting food chain would arguably border on the paradisal.