Bracing Stuff

Britain is bracing, as usual, in the face of winter weather as the recent flooding season gives way to snow and ice. Particularly braced will be Team Starmer and its minister for profitable healthcare, Wideboy Wesley, who is planning a cosy chat with the hard right on how best to marketise adult social care without unduly denting Labour's three-figure overall majority in the House of Expenses Claimants. Possibly even more braced than that will be those pensioners deprived of their winter fuel payments, who are expected to become self-solving burdens in ever more convenient quantities over the next few days, despite Wideboy Wesley's generous permission for them to feed the maw of the energy profiteers to the best of their humble ability.