Well, Of All the Unpredictable Things

Will the ivory-tower intellectuals never cease making their mischief? Less than a fortnight after academics at King's College London dared to postulate that poverty might be decreased merely by subjecting the poor to disimpoverishment, a trade think-tank has put forth the even less patriotic assertion that flouncing out of a major trading bloc might have some sort of deleterious effect on exports to that same bloc. No, I can't quite fathom it either. Apparently independence from the Strasbrussels tyranny has somehow resulted in Britain's being regarded as a "third country" by the beastly Euro-wogs, rather than conferring that exalted status upon itself. Despite regarding Britain as a "third country," however, the beastly Euro-wogs have taken it upon themselves to trade with Britain as though it really were one, in defiance of all standards of economic literacy and moral reason. Nor is this even the most extreme dereliction to result from the removal of British pragmatism's guiding hand and restraining underwear, as the Continent has actually seen fit to complicate matters yet further by diverging its standards from those of the mainland. With duly prolonged and appropriately funded study, it is just possible that an explanation may one day emerge.