All the Profits of Arabia

In keeping with the current status of British public office as a networking opportunity, a former Minister for Wog-Bombing has availed himself of the chance to invest in the neglected aspects of his life by filling his boots courtesy of Westminster's favourite Islamic fundamentalist head-choppers. The eminently forgettable Sir Ben Wallace, who prudently jumped the sinking ship of government last year, is now employed by the House of Saud, which will doubtless benefit from his expertise when further flattening Yemen or taking its customary no-nonsense attitude to womanly wokeness. Just in case he gets his enemies of human rights mixed up, Wallace is forbidden to lobby the British government or give advice on British miltary prowess for slightly longer than Fishy Rishi clung to office, on pain of receiving some very stern looks from the advisory committee on snout and trotter placement in post-political troughs.