Sensible Solutions for Moderate Moisture

Patriots will rejoice to find Britishness as rampant as ever in the moisture profiteering industry, one of whose largest members is celebrating the arrival of the rainy season in a manner befitting the country that thought it could save the NHS by cutting itself off from its biggest trading partner, kicking out its immigrant workers, and putting Boris Johnson in charge of the Government. Southern Water, whose chief executive has just received a £183,000 bonus for getting consumers to pay for non-existent improvements, is considering a scheme to import moisture from Norway in the event that the coming winter's floods prove inadequate to prevent hosepipe bans next summer. Naturally the plan, if plan is the word I'm groping for, is intended as a "last-resort contingency measure" or, in Standard English, something to be done as often as can be got away with. Since properly maintained reservoirs and infrastructure are against the national religion, and since the costs would be borne entirely by moisture provision consumers and the environment, there seems little reason for anything to dam its progress.