O Canada, We Shiver On Guard For Thee

A bracing breeze of Britishness is blowing through our north-western colonies, where the Canadian army has issued new sleeping bags to its troops without troubling to check how they work. Since Canada is traditionally assumed to be at least partly Arctic in location, soldiers have traditionally been equipped with gear suitable for Arctic conditions. Last year, after the usual "rigorous competitive process," the army spent thirty-five million dollars on sleeping bags whose camouflage is so effective that they blend in seamlessly with the environment, and therefore keep the troops warm provided the weather is warm too.